But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
