last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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