I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
