I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Do vagina's smell?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
