i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
