Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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