When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
