Your mouth is God's brothel.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My life is pants optional.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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