im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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