Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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