He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
