I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
