Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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