I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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