It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
