In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
