mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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