she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
