nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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