I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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