How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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