You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
