sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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