ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
