She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
