I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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