Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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