One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
