You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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