You really coming over, don't trick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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