ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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