Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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