I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
