i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize