He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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