i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
