fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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