The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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