girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
