Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
