lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
