when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
