i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
