You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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