Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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