Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
