I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
