I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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