HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
