How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
