My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
