Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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