i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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