I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
