I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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